At this point, most of you reading are my friends.
And while it’s nice being the hot one, I’d love to improve my surroundings.
You’re probably familiar with mouth breather as a insult likened to imbecile, numpty, Darwin award nominee, smooth brain, evolutionary blip.
Turns out, there’s some truth to it.
Breathing through your mouth makes your face less aesthetically pleasing (an uggo) and is dangerous to your health.
Whenever possible you should try to breathe through your nose – unless you’re speaking, eating, heavy exercising, screaming for help, screaming for fun reasons.
Dr. Paul Erhlich and Dr. Sandra Kahn (experts in cranial-facial function and structure and authors of Jaws: The Story of a Hidden Epidemic) have found that chronic mouth breathing can lead to:
- Droopy eyes
- A tucked chin
- A less defined jawline
Enter the protagonist, arriving on bear-back with good news to slay your unhealthy habits and ugly face.
These changes can be reverse cow-girled. Switching to nose breathing can lead to dramatically favorable aesthetic changes:
- Elevation of the eyebrows
- Elevation of the cheekbones
- Sharpening of the jaw
- Improvements of the teeth and the entire jaw structure
In Dr. Paul Erhlich and Dr. Sandra Kahn’s Jaws, there was a young girl who got a pet hamster. She was allergic to the hamster and as a consequence became a mouth breather.
Over a few months, her chin moved backwards towards the neck and her eyes became droopy.
Why would her eyes become droopy? Because she used the sinuses around her nose and eyes less, her face aged rapidly.
They chucked the hamster into the bin and used medical tape to encourage nasal breathing at night. Slowly, model-esque features returned to her face.
Would you like model features? Read on.
Are you a mouth breather?
61% of people mouth breathe during sleep.
May the odds be ever in your favor.
Let’s volunteer you.
Close your mouth and breathe only through your nose. Put your tongue, on the roof of your mouth, and it should fit behind your teeth. You should be able to nose breathe in that position. (this is at rest, not during exercise)
Now, many people won’t be able to do that. And we DO NOT laugh at them all the time.
Test out your friends. But I beg of you, please do not make fun of them.
Help! I want to put my tongue on the roof of my mouth!
We can do it. ~ Rosie the Riveter
Sinuses are little tubes through which fluid and air move. They’re malleable – their shape can be modified.
Through deliberate nasal breathing, you can dilate the sinuses and increase airflow, making nasal breathing easier over time.
This creates space within the mouth’s palate to allow your tongue to sit more completely on the roof of your mouth.
Mouth breathing during sleep is not just undesirable; it is actually dangerous.
If you breathe through your mouth as opposed to your nose, you bring in less oxygen. Effectively, you’re putting yourself into a state of apnea (lack of oxygen). Bad for brain and sinuses. Plus it increases anxiety.
Mouth breathing can also damage the lungs. Increased resistance through the nose inflates your lungs more. It also warms and moisturizes the air that you bring into your lungs.
Please breathe through your mouth when you need to. I can’t have any more deaths on my hands.
The gut microbiome is the new Cinderella story of health science. But while everyone’s buying her glass shoe from Zoe for $500, the ugly step sisters (they were probably mouth breathers) are sat twiddling their thumbs in the corner on their fifth piece of cake.
Have you heard of the nasal microbiome? Or the oral microbiome?
Well, they exist.
The nasal microbiome is a community of beneficial bacteria that is particularly goated at scrubbing viruses, bacteria, and even fungal infections. Your oral microbiome, not so much. So when you breathe through to your mouth you are more susceptible to infections.
Mouth breathing can destroy your health:
- Dehydration, dry mouth, & bad breath
- Dental problems & facial differences
- Increased anxiety
- Snoring & sleep apnea
- Crooked teeth & cavities
- Fatigue & poor concentration
- Worsens high blood pressure, diabetes, etc
- Lowers your life expectancy
How to improve your aesthetics
Breathing through your mouth is like using your face as a wind tunnel. It dries you out, makes you look like a fish gasping for air, and is basically a giant middle finger to your health.
- Ditch the Mouth: Deliberately breathe through your nose. If you’re not an NPC (bot), consciously use nasal breathing.
- Chew Like You Mean It: Stop slurping your foods. Eat like an adult. Gnaw on some carrots, chomp some nuts, or try some hard gum.
- Tape It Shut: Yeah, tape that sucker shut at night. It’s weird, but so is snoring like a walrus and waking up with a face that resembles a dried-up prune. Alternatively join the hostage tape army. #ShutYourMouth
- Nasal Cardio: Do cardio while breathing through your nose. Tape your mouth shut, put a gulp of water in your mouth (don’t swallow it), or just shut your gob. It’s harder, but beauty is pain. Plus it’s better for you.
Mouth breathe, I welcome it. But don’t come complaining when your grandma tells you that you have a face for the closet. She can’t unsee the baggage you carry under your eyes or your bird-jaw. Probably not the best look to share for one of the last memories of you.
Fast forwards a couple months and you’ve shed your braces, grown into C cups, and now you’re the hot girl with all the boys coming to your yard to watch you make Oreo™ milkshakes.
Nasal breathing at rest and during sleep has benefits compared to mouth breathing. Note: mouth breathing has its place when exercising.
- The increased resistance of nasal breathing allows for maximum lung inflation each breath to increase oxygen delivery to the body.
- The nasal passages warm the incoming air, which is healthier for the lungs.
- Nasal breathing improves blood vessel dilation to efficiently remove waste, deliver nutrients and help relieve sinus congestion.
- Nasal breathing improves facial aesthetics – elevation of the eyebrows and cheekbones, sharpening of the jaw, and improvement of the tooth and jaw structure.
Don’t be that person with their mouth agape, drool pooling in the corner.
End note: Jaw exercisers are all the rage in Hollywood, but it turns out chewing your food (like a civilized human, not a rabid squirrel) can have a similar effect on your jawline.